Remember that scene in First Blood where Rambo slaughters entire squads of National Guardsmen? Or how about the one where Rambo comes back to Hope and massacres several dozen local and State police officers? You shouldn’t, because neither happened. Developer Teyon has even put shooting where there was none previously. There are a few segments of basic, Heavy Rain-esque on-rails stealth, like the obligatory police station escape from First Blood, but it’s mainly shooting. That really is almost all there is to it. On PS3 the game features Move support for the sliver of players who still actively care about Move, which at least partially emulates a light gun, but the Move has never made anything more fun and Rambo: The Video Game is no exception. With a joypad it’s like playing a conventional first-person shooter with one arm tied behind your back trying to line up bad guys by aiming with just the right stick on a static screen feels alien and unintuitive. With a mouse I was simply scrolling about with ease, left-clicking on enemy heads like I was clearing a Minesweeper board. Neither a mouse nor a joypad are suitable proxies for a light gun. Playing a light gun game without a light gun is kind of like eating cereal with a fork you can get the Fruit Loops into your word hole easily enough but without the milk you’re missing out on a crucial part of the cereal-eating experience.

You use a mouse or a joypad to whisk a cursor around the screen while Rambo advances about various environments of his own accord. After playing it I’m certain it shouldn’t be. Prior to its arrival I was not aware this was a type of game people made.

It is not a regular first-person shooter this is Time Crisis without the colourful plastic pistols. Don’t be duped by the screenshots on the back of the box. Rambo: The Video Game is a light gun game without the light gun. That said, with its positively prehistoric rail-shooter underpinnings and its almost shocking unsuitability for its main control methods, you should not come to the Rambo: The Video Game at all. Play This opening section admittedly takes place before the events of the First Blood, but you should not come to Rambo: The Video Game expecting much in the way of restraint or depth.

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